Smile
by Love Star
Summary: Colette's POV when she assumes a dolllike state of existence.


Smile

Intro: Cause Collette's growing on me, a lovely little fic on Collette's growth as an angel, a person, and her growing love for Lloyd. Set when she becomes a true 'angel' and ends up in a doll like state. First ToS fic, don't hate. Usually I'm for Sheloyd.

_I think I'm dead…_

_They warned me I would be, but somehow, it never seemed real, like it wouldn't come true. Perhaps I'm just being silly, of course it had to come true. I'm the Chosen. All Chosens die upon becoming angels._

_But if I'm dead… how come I can think?_

_I feel nothing…_

_I see nothing…_

_I hear nothing…_

_I smell and taste nothing…_

_So how could I be thinking?_

_There must be some mistake. I should be reborn as an angel. This shouldn't be happening! It just feels like my body locked my mind inside… is that what death is?_

_…So I won't be an angel. I won't regenerate the world. Is this all a dream?_

"Colette!"

_…Lloyd? Lloyd! Can you hear me? I'm right here! I can't speak or anything, but I can hear you… everything else… is silent. Please say you can hear me!_

"Colette! No! Dammit, Yggdrasill you'll pay for that!"

_…Lloyd…_

_Lloyd… help… me…_

_I still have my memories… I still remember everything… but… what is happening?_

_I want to see everyone again…_

_I keep trying to move, but nothing happens. I'm totally disconnected, and from what I can tell there's no way I can get the connection back. My soul must really be locked in my body… which means that… that…_

_I won't be reborn. To be reborn means my soul has to be free right?_

_Oh… I've failed everyone. I'm so sorry… I can't regenerate the world… I was so hoping that I could. That way everyone could be happy… including Lloyd…_

_Lloyd…_

_Why does his name keep coming up? I should feel sad about not completing my task… but for some reason I don't. I just… miss him. Miss his smile. But why…?_

_What is this feeling?_

"Col-!"

…_I can't hear Lloyd anymore. I think now I'm completely shut off, even from Lloyd. But why could I hear Lloyd in the first place? I couldn't hear anyone else…_

_Do… Do I…?_

_Grandma warned me to stay away from Lloyd when we first met. She said he'd be dangerous, raised by dwarves. I thought he was funny. He taught me to use my chakram for self-defense, before I only thought of them as toys. We'd spar a lot, him, Genis, and I. I remember always feeling so jealous that Genis knew Lloyd first. I thought Lloyd was the coolest person ever…_

_I still do._

_The first time I beat him in sparring, I felt bad because I hit him so hard. But he just laughed at me when I apologized and called me a dork. I didn't know what dork meant, but I liked it. Sometimes… I feel selfish for it, but sometimes I apologize just to hear him call me dork…_

_He always reassures me that I'm doing the right thing that everything will be okay. I'm… not very sure of myself. I was always afraid during our journey that they'd made some mistake, that I wasn't the Chosen at all. That I wasn't strong enough. That I'd fail everyone. I hate it when people are sad._

_Lloyd's always so sure of himself… I really envy him for that. He'd make a much better Chosen than me._

_I'm lonely… it's so isolated here. There's no one at all. I wish Lloyd were here. He'd know what to do…_

_He's probably so worried about me… I should find a way to contact him. He's really protective over me, he always has been._

_It's warm… am I blushing? How could I be blushing?_

_No wait… the warmth isn't from me. It's from… over there? How could that be? I didn't know I could move in this place, that there was a here or there. I always just assumed…_

_Maybe it'll help me get in contact with Lloyd. I'm coming Lloyd! I'm coming to save the world! I… I want to try again. This time… for you Lloyd… all for you…_

_I want to make you so happy… the happiest in the world… so… I don't want to die. I'll make a world where everyone is happy, that would make you happy right? That way no one would have to die anymore, not for exspheres, not in war… nothing._

_I just have to reach the light…_

"Here Colette, I finished your birthday present…"

_Lloyd! You… you did that for me? Even through this whole mess? You still… you still care for me… I mean I know you worry but… I'm still with you? I'm not in a coffin floating in the Tower of Salvation?_

_…Lloyd…_

_The light is so bright! Maybe if I just… think into it… I can…_

_Thank you so much Lloyd. I understand now. I… I love you so much Lloyd. I want so badly to… to…_

"Look out!"

"No!" _my voice! That's me speaking! I… I can see. Where am I? What's happening? Oh Lloyd, please be okay!_

_I swat something away unconsciously and all my senses start flooding back. I can feel, and I realize my wings are still out. I still have my wings! I can hear everyone's gasp, and I can feel pain from whatever I just swatted away from me. But most importantly…_

"Colette!"

_I can see his smile. I can see him again._ "Lloyd…"

_I love you._


End file.
